Opposite Day: Bleach Style
by Animegirl3535
Summary: Opposite Day has rolled around again! Can Ichigo handle the craziness? Warning: may be very funny.
1. Chapter 1 Good Morning, Ichigoooooooo!

Opposite Day: Bleach Style

Its been a long time since I've written a story! Years in fact! My tastes have changed a lot!

Disclaimer: I do NOT own Bleach or the characters or anything to do with it! This is purely for entertainment purposes!

Chapter 1: GOOD MORNING, ICHIGOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

Another day. The sun was just coming over the horizen. Ichigo sat up slowly, stretched, then yawned loudly. He had been up late fighting a hollow and had hardly gotten any sleep.

"Kon. Hey Kon! Are you up yet?" Ichigo called for the Mod soul stuffed animal. He scanned around the room, but saw no sign of him.  
But then he heard a rustling sound under the bed...

"Ichigo... I've been waiting for you..."

Ichigo froze; was that KON'S voice?

All in one motion, Kon flew out from under the bed, onto Ichigo's lap, and... kissed him.

"WHAT THE HELL, KON?" Ichigo threw Kon like a crazy person across the room, and quickly stood up. He rubbed his mouth violently,  
trying to remove the imaginary Kon germs.

"What's wrong, Ichigo? I just... I just want to be with you! Why are you acting like this?" Kon threw his tiny arms up in the air in confusion.

"What are you talking about? What the hell is wrong with you? Are you playing a joke on me?" Ichigo was pissed.

"Oh, Ichigo! I can't take your rejection any longer!" Kon ran out of the room sobbing.

"Whatever." Ichigo shook his head and started getting ready for school. Then he noticed something else... his mirror was broken.

"That's strange..." Ichigo was curious, but had to eat breakfast now before he was late for school.

Ichigo walked downstairs, preparing himself for his dad's daily attack, but as he got to the kitchen, there was complete silence.

"Dad? Yuzu? Karin?" There was no one there. And no breakfast. Ichigo's stomache growled.

"Iiiiccchiigooo..." a familair voice came from the living room, but sounded very different. It was...

"DAD? ARE YOU SMOKING POT?"

Isshin was sitting in the middle of the floor, a huge smile on his face, "yes I am, you want some? Hehehehehe!"  
Ichigo was stunned. First Kon, now his dad? Was he hallucinating?

He deceided he would just ignore his dad and make himself something to eat. But where was Yuzu and Karin? His question was answered all too soon.

Yuzu and Karin walked slowly into the kitchen, both covered in make-up, mini skirts, tube tops, high heels and wads of cash in their hand, "girl,  
we had a good night." Karin put her arm around Yuzu. Yuzu smiled, "yeah I got like 20 guys, I'm rolling in the cash!" They both laughed and high fived. Ichigo nearly passed out.

"I'm sleeping. I have to be sleeping. This is not happening. NOT HAPPENING." Ichigo slapped himself in the face wildly. Just then, loud stomping came down the stairs.

"Yo, gee, what's happening in the hood fo rizzle my nizzle, dawg."

"R-r-r-rukia?" Ichigo's jaw dropped involuntarily. Her pants were around her knees, a cap on sideways, a shirt with the sleeves ripped off,  
and steel toe workboots.

"Word. Peace out, homie." Rukia turned and left. Not too long after, there was a knock at the door. Ichigo was quick to answer it, hoping it was someone normal.

"Hey. What's up, dude?" said a skater with their hang hanging over their eyes. Ichigo didn't recognize them, but their voice sounded familiar...

"Ichigo, like, OMG totally!"

Ichigo turned in horror to see Chad running toward him. He was wearing a pink dress with red high heels. His lips were bright red and he had so much eyeliner on he could have been a raccoon.

"Chad, what the hell... is this?" Ichigo couldn't comprehend this situation anymore.

"Chad, dude. I think you lost my board dude. I've gotta impress some chicks with my tricks." said the skater.

Ichigo took a closer look... no...

"Orihime?"

"What is it, dude?" Orihime asked.

"Impress chicks with your tricks? What are you talking about? Why is Chad dressed like a woman?" Ichigo looked back and forth crazily between his two friends.

"What are you talking about, dude? We're not any different than normal. By the way, have you seen Tatsuki today? That chick is totally radical."  
Orihime rambled on nonsense.

"So, like, Ichigo. I like, painted my nails, like purple today. They are, like, awesome!" Chad waved his hands in front of Ichigo's face.

"Chad, back off! What is wrong with you? Why are you guys doing this?" Ichigo was yelling now.

"Dude, calm down..." Orihime tried to shush him.

"No, screw you, I'm outta here!" Ichigo took off running down the street. He had had enough of all the craziness. If they were trying to pull some crazy stunt, it wasn't funny anymore.

Unfortunately, Ichigo didn't get very far. He quickly smashed right into someone.

"Geez, I'm sorry!" Ichigo immediately began apologizing, looking at the ground.

"Oh, it's okay! You're my best friend! It's no biggie!"

Best friend?

Ichigo looked up slowly. He saw a huge grin and... bright blue hair.

"GRIMMJOW!" Ichigo quickly grabbed for his substitute badge, but Grimmjow grabbed his hand.

"What are you doing, buddy? There's no one to fight around here!" Grimmjow said cheerfully.

"I think... I think I'm going to be sick..." Ichigo bent over and breathed deeply.

"I was on my way to walk to school with you, bud!"

"No... you don't GO to school. You're an arrancar! What the hell is going on?"

"Of course I go to school, what are YOU talking about?"

Ichigo simply starred at Grimmjow. Was it a dream? Hallucination? Maybe the hollow from last night caused it? Whatever it was, Ichigo was going to find out soon, before he lost his mind.

Even though it was COMPLETELY CRAZY AND STUPID, Ichigo walked with Grimmjow to school. He watched Grimmjow's every move, not trusting him one bit.

"What would you say if I told you I loved you, Ichigo?" Grimmjow looked to him and smiled.

"I would say, shut the the hell up." Ichigo wished he could just ignore it. He was thinking though, since Grimmjow was the enemy, possibly he might have SOMETHING to do with this, so maybe it was best to just play along.

Or maybe it wasn't...

"Ichigo. I cut myself again last night. I listened to Good Charlotte and popped some pills too."

It was Tatsuki.

"Seriously? You too?" Ichigo grabbed his head in frustration.

"I really need someone to talk to..." Tatsuki walked up to Ichigo and layed her head on his chest.

"Tatsuki, back off... what is wrong with you?" Ichigo gently pushed her back. She began to sob.

"No one... no one likes me!" Tatsuki ran off crying.

Grimmjow shook his head, "Ichigo, you should have been nicer."

"What? Nicer?"

"Yes, nicer. That was pretty cold."

Ichigo was speechless. Here he was having a conversation about being nicer with Grimmjow of all people. GRIMMJOW.

"Ichigo."

Ichigo shuddered. Who was it this time?

He turned to see a familiar face, with long black hair.

"I've been looking forward to seeing you, you wonderful man." It was Byakuya. He wrapped his arms around Ichigo and squeezed tighty.

"Byakuya? You too?" Ichigo couldn't get out of the grip.

"I'm here too, Ichigo! Look, I'm think Im getting shorter! YEAY!" Toshiro walked up and began jumping up and down happily.

"Why are you two here?" Ichigo asked.

"Oh, we're just here to see you!" Byakuya smiled at him, finally letting Ichigo go.

"Yes. So glad to see you. No sarcasm at all."

Renji joined the group also.

"Renji! I'm glad to see you! You won't believe what has been happening..." Ichigo ran up to Renji, hoping to have someone to vent to.

"Why are you talking to me? Get away from me!" Renji shoved Ichigo away.

"Hey, don't touch my best friend like that!" Grimmjow pointed at Renji.

"I'll do whatever I want!" Renji yelled back.

Ichigo could not believe this. Renji hated him and Grimmow loved him? What next?

Meanwhile... Somewhere... Else...

"The plan is working. He has no idea."

"Yes, no idea! It's brilliant! Bwahahahaha!"

"Bwahahahahaha!"

Two figures stood in the sky, watching the spectacle below... but who were they? Hm...

To be continued! (If I get enough reason to continue it)

Don't be afraid to be honest and give ideas! Thank you!


	2. Chapter 2 Gaaaaaaaaaaaaa!

Hello! Thank you for the couple reviews I got! Here I go with more!

Disclaimer: I in no way own Bleach or anything to do with it. This story is purely for entertainment purposes.

Chapter 2: Gaaaaaaaaa!

Ichigo finally made it to school, Grimmjow and the others close behind him. Would it be a good idea to lose them?  
Maybe not, maybe something was physically wrong with them... Ichigo stopped and pondered this, when someone tapped him on the shoulder.

"Yo, dawg what up, where you be, I be chillin in da hood, all day erry day." Rukia crossed her arms across her chest.

"Rukia, did you see any hollows last night? Did you fight any?" Ichigo was ignoring her greeting.

"No, dawg I be chllin in my crib all night gettin some z's, you know what I'm sayin'?" Rukia... explained.

"Whatever. You probably wouldn't even remember..." Ichigo grumbled.

The bell rang just then. Everyone quickly... didn't go anywhere?

"Hey, why isn't anyone going to class?" Ichigo turned to his friends.

"We never go to class. The teachers don't care. Let's go play soccer!" Grimmjow smiled and grabbed Ichigo's arm.

"I can't. I'm... not feeling well!" Ichigo lied badly.

Grimmjow frowned and shrugged his shoulders, "Okay, whatever."

"Think... think... what do I do..." Ichigo began pacing back and forth.

"Are we really going to just stand here? I want to have fun, Ichigo!" Byakuya stomped his foot.

"I think we should just leave. I don't want anything to do with this moron." Renji grimmaced.

"No, Renji, let's go to the park and play on the swings!" Toshiro began to dance around happily, Byakuya and Grimmjow joined in.

Just when Ichigo was about to sneak away, someone smacked him on the head.

"Heeeeyyy, what's happening!" Urahara grinned wildly at an angry Ichigo.

"What'd you smack me for? Wait, do you know what's going on? Is this one of your tests?" Ichgio spewed out questions.

"What's up, dawg!" Rukia high fived Urahara.

"Geez, you would not believe how much I baked last night! I'm beat!" Urahara yawned.

"Why were you baking?" Ichigo asked.

"Well, I do run a bake shop, Ichigo. That is my job."

"No, it's a candy store. And a store for soul reapers."

"Whatever. Soul Reapers? I don't know anything really about those."

Panic shook Ichigo all the way to his soul.

"But how can you not know about soul reapers? You know more than anyone!" Ichigo was hoping to catch Urahara slip up in this game.

"I don't know, but I better get back to my cake shop! Yeay!" Urahara skipped away.

"Bye!" Everyone but Ichigo waved.

"Yo, dawg lets go hang at the beach, fo shizzle. Word." Rukia... suggested.

Ichigo just starred at her. The others were laughing and getting excited now about going to the beach.

"OMG, did I here the beach! Like, I am totally going too!" Chad ran up to them, followed by Orihime.

"Yeah, there's gonna be so many babes there!" Orihime laughed.

"What do you care, Orihime?" Ichigo questioned.

"What do you mean? I totally dig chicks!" Orihime high fived Grimmjow.

Ichigo now noticed something else... Orihime's boobs were gone! A physcial change? Things were getting much more serious!

So the group began to head to the beach. Everyone was laughing and singing, Rukia was rapping and beatboxing. Ichigo followed behind, walking as slow as possible.

"Ichigo, I've found you, my love!" Kon ran up and hugged Ichigo.

"Kon, get off of me!" Ichigo quickly kicked the stuffed animal away.

"Ichigo, stop pushing me away! I need you! You need me!" Kon sobbed.

"Kon, you're being an idiot!"

"No, I love you! Please just let me love you!"

Ichigo then realized that the others were gone.

"Where'd everybody go?" Ichigo scanned the area. Kon was still gripping onto him.

"Who cares? We're alone now!" Kon nuzzled against him.

"I said get away from me!" Ichigo kicked him away again. He began running, hoping he could find the others. Kon was close behind.

"Wait for me, my love!"

Ichigo ran even faster. He soon reached the beach, the others were dancing around to Rukia's rapping and beatboxing.

"Aw I almost forgot, don't know how I could have, but..." Ichigo shook his head and joined the group.

"Ichigo!"

He heard a female voice behind him. He turned to see it was his sisters... still dressed like prostitutes.

"Hey! I'm so glad to see you!" Karin ran up and hugged him. Yuzu stayed back.

"Whatever. Who cares." Yuzu huffed.

Even the situation being what it was, Yuzu's cold demeanor shocked Ichigo. This was getting out of hand, and being at the beach would have to wait. Ichigo needed to find out what was happening. Apparently he would have to do it alone.  
"Ichigoooo, join us!" Chad sang.

"No, Chad, I've gotta go!" Ichigo quickly left the beach, not even sure where to go. Maybe...

"The Soul Society! Maybe whatever happened didn't affect them!" Ichigo was a bit more hopeful now. Only one problem; how was he going to get there? Urahara somehow didn't even know what a soul reaper was. How would he get to the other side now? Plus, Byakuya, Renji and Toshiro were affected, so this plan was bust.

Ichigo stopped, completely drained now from the stress. What now?

"Ichigooooooooooooo!"

Ichigo turned to see that THE ENTIRE GROUP HAD FOLLOWED HIM.

"What the hell? Leave me alone!" Ichigo screamed. The group surrounded him and Rukia began to rap again.

"Noooo stop!" Ichigo covered his ears.

"Let's dance, buddy!" Grimmjow starting pulling at Ichigo's arms, Ichigo quickly darted away.

"We are not 'buddies'! back off!" Ichigo put his arms out in front him, pushing Grimmjow away still.

"What do you mean? You... you are my best friend... how can you say that?" Grimmjow questioned.

"Look, this isn't how you normaly act, there is something wrong you. All of you! You and I are supposed to be enemies!" Ichigo threw up his arms in frustration.

"Yo, dawg, there is nothing wrong with us, ya hear. We are the shizzle for rizzle." Rukia stopped rapping to put her two cents in. Whatever that phrase means.

"Rukia, you're normaly proper and... not like this at all! And Orihime, you're not... a lesbian! And where did you're boobs go?"  
Ichigo was frantic.

"Boobs? She has boobs? I want boobs!" Chad sobbed.

"Chad, you are not a woman! You're one of the toughest guys I know!"

"I am not tough! Take that back! I'm dainty and feminine!"

Ichigo just starred at his friends, not sure what else to say. Byakuya and Toshiro were just smiling at him.

"What?" Ichigo asked frankly.

"You are just so amazing..." Byakuya said truthfully.

"That's it!" Ichigo grabbed his substitute badge and turned into a soul reaper. He flew up into the sky, not even caring about leaving his body behind (probably a huge mistake).

He just... went. He just needed to be by himself right now. This situation was too overwhelming. What was wrong with his friends?

Something was up ahead. A person? Or something else?

"A hollow, just what I need..." grumbled Ichigo. At least he could get some of the stress out. He quickly grabbed for Zangetsu off of his back, but...

"Where is my sword?" Ichigo was freaking out. He then noticed that a gun was holstered onto his hip. Maybe this had something to do with all the craziness?

"Whatever, this will have to work." Ichigo grabbed the gun and fired at the hollow. It quickly dodged the attack and slammed right into Ichigo.  
This hollow was very different from anything Ichigo had ever seen. It was big and... fluffy.

"The hollow last night was covered in hair too!" Ichigo realized as he stood up from the previous attack.

The hollow roared and began to charge again, this time Ichigo was ready and quickly dodged. As the hollow went by, Ichigo quickly fired,  
but missed by just a hair. The hollow looked at him, roared, and then just... disappeared.

"What the hell...?" Ichigo said quielty. He went back down to ground, now concerned about his body. It and his friends were gone.

"Great." Ichigo sighed, "now what? I don't even feel anyone's spirtual pressure..."

Meanwhile...

"We should crank up the fun!"

"Yes, that sounds like a great idea!"

"The more the better! Hahahaha!"

"Hahahahaha!"

The two figures laughed and headed toward Karakura town. What would they do next?

To be continued!

Please review and I hope you enjoyed! Thank you for reading!


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